Push, Poop & Pillow Talk: The Taboo Truths of Motherhood
Let’s break the silence on the real stuff — the things no one warns you about, or if they do, it’s whispered like a secret in a bathroom line. Today, we’re talking Poop. Sex. Delivery. Because if you’ve grown a human, you deserve to hear the full story — stains, stitches, and all.
Poop
Yep, we’re starting here. Why? Because poop becomes a huge part of your motherhood journey — sooner than you think.
- Babies can poop during delivery (called meconium). If this happens before they’re born, doctors are ready. They’ll likely give you antibiotics to prevent infection.
- That first poop? Meconium is thick, tar-like, black, and stains everything. It’s sticky, smelly, and makes a dramatic entrance.
- Pro tip: Let your partner handle that first diaper. You’ve already done plenty.
- The hospital provides newborn or size 1 diapers, but bring extras in your diaper bag — just in case.
- Poop varies by how your baby eats:
- Breastfed: Mustard yellow, seedy, and loose.
- Formula-fed: Tan, greenish, firmer (but still soft, like peanut butter).
You’ll become a poop detective — analyzing colours and textures like a seasoned scientist. Some colours are red flags:
Call your provider if you see:
- Black poop after the first few days
- Red or bloody stool
- White or gray poop
- Excessive mucus
Keep track: note the colour, size, frequency — and don’t be shy about taking pics (yes, really). I had a poop album on my phone for a while. My husband? Got a blowout text mid-golf game. Ah, memories.
Sex
Ah, the great unknown. One of the most googled questions in pregnancy is:
“Is it safe to have sex while pregnant?”
The answer? Most of the time: Yes. But your desire might be a different story.
- In the first trimester, nausea and exhaustion can make sex feel impossible. That pregnancy pillow? It becomes the real MVP of the bed.
- Your sex drive might spike or vanish completely.
- Second trimester? Some women feel more connected and sensual. Others? Hard pass.
- Third trimester? It can go either way — logistically tricky but still possible.
There may be times when your doctor advises no vaginal or anal sex (e.g., placenta previa, preterm labour risks). But intimacy doesn’t stop there.
Tips for keeping connection alive:
- Communicate openly — your body is changing, and so are your needs.
- Explore other ways of closeness: cuddling, massage, baths, gentle touch.
- Use each other’s love languages. Emotional connection can deepen when physical intimacy is paused.
Real talk: My first pregnancy? I was into it again by the second trimester. My second? Not interested at all. Toddlers, exhaustion, and chasing sleep took priority. It’s all normal.
Delivery
So what really happens down there?
Let’s talk vaginal delivery — from my experience and other mom friends’ stories.
My Story:
Contractions started the night before. I didn’t sleep much but bounced on an exercise ball at home.
Got to the hospital around 9 a.m. and immediately said YES to the epidural.
It hurt going in (don’t look at the needle!), but about 45 minutes later I felt nothing waist-down. Total game-changer.
I could rest, breathe, and mentally prepare.
When it was time to push, it took a few hours.
Tip: Practice the “half-push” too. My baby’s head came out — then back in when I suddenly stopped.
Spoiler: He was born twice.
What else can happen (my experience):
Episiotomy: I had one. It’s a surgical cut to help baby exit. Try asking for a sideways cut if you can — it heals a bit easier than a straight down perineal one.
Pooping on the table: It’s likely. You won’t care. Nurses clean it in seconds. Just maybe tell your partner in advance not to peek.
Placenta delivery: It’s a small push after baby. Quick and mostly painless.
Stitching up: If you tore or were cut, the doctor stitches while you cuddle your baby. You’ll barely notice (thanks, epidural).
Maggie’s Story:
First Baby – Vaginal Birth (Traumatic)
My pregnancy with my first was awesome — I felt great, beautiful, and loved being pregnant. His birth… not so much.
He was 3 days overdue, and nothing I tried got labor moving. My doctor suggested castor oil (I do not recommend this — it started labor insanely fast and cleared out my whole digestive system).
From start to finish, it was about 8 hours. My water broke the second I got to the hospital — the classic “whoosh” effect. I laughed, more liquid came out, and I just kept laughing.
Laboring was manageable at first with laughing gas. My essentials? Lip balm and warm socks. During contractions, I wanted silence and hubby rubbing my feet.
I asked for an epidural… too late. My body just wanted to push, and I couldn’t resist. I pushed for about an hour, with my first’s umbilical cord over his head, making him move back in each push. Vacuum, forceps, and an episiotomy later, I finally had him at 2:44 a.m. Healthy and perfect, but traumatic.
Second Baby – Vaginal Birth (Calm & Enjoyable)
Four and a half years later, I had my second. Her pregnancy was rough — severe nausea and vomiting, plus concerning ultrasound results at 20 weeks. But by her due date, she was perfectly healthy.
Again, I was 3 days overdue and induction was needed. This time, I got an epidural as soon as I could. The difference? Incredible. I could feel when to push, bear weight on my legs, and stay calm.
It took 6 pushes — her sunny-side-up position made it tricky — but I got to touch her head before the last push. Out she came at 3:03 p.m. Instant relief, instant euphoria, no nausea, and I could even walk to my room 45 minutes later.
What else can happen (Maggie’s births):
Umbilical cord issues: First baby’s cord was over his head — he kept moving back in with every push. This can make labor longer and trickier.
Vacuum or forceps: Sometimes needed to help baby out. Can leave a small mark on the baby’s head but usually harmless.
Episiotomy: I had one — made sitting painful for months. Ask your provider about the type of cut; sideways may heal easier.
Pain meds: Fentanyl, epidural, or Tylenol/Advil are your friends. Don’t refuse — they really help with pushing, stitches, and recovery.
Back labor: Second Baby was sunny-side-up, causing intense back labor. Having your partner press on your lower back can be a lifesaver.
Induction: Being overdue sometimes means labor won’t start naturally. Induction can work differently each time — with Palmer, it was calm, with first it was fast and intense.
Euphoria after birth: Second baby’s birth showed how much difference support, epidural, and baby positioning can make — feeling human again after labor is priceless.
Another Momma’s Story:
First Baby – Emergency C-Section
I was induced at 9 a.m. on a Friday at 41 weeks and 3 days. Labor lasted 86 hours. I made it to 8 cm, but my baby was stuck and couldn’t descend any further.
Finally, I ended up with an emergency C-section at 11 p.m. on Monday. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever experienced.
Second Baby – Scheduled C-Section
This time, at 39 weeks, I had a scheduled C-section. I knew what to expect — it was calm, organized, and honestly much easier. Night and day compared to the first birth!
What else can happen (Momma’s births):
Emergency vs scheduled C-section: First-time emergency C-sections are unpredictable and exhausting; scheduled ones allow for preparation and a calmer experience.
Labor length: Being induced doesn’t always speed things up — My first labor took multiple days.
Recovery differences: Recovery from a scheduled C-section is generally smoother; emergency procedures can leave you more drained and sore.
Emotional impact: Experiencing a long, difficult labor followed by a calmer second birth can bring relief — and a huge appreciation for planning when possible.
Final Thoughts
Pregnancy and birth are messy, magical, weird, and wonderful. And sometimes hilarious.
You’ll talk more about poop, question your sex life, and have real delivery room chaos—but you’ll also gain a deeper understanding of your body and a whole new strength you never knew you had.
Let’s keep talking about the taboo stuff. Because this is the sisterhood we deserve.
Have a wild delivery story, weird poop moment, or bedroom confession you want to share? Drop it in the comments or DM me on Instagram @chapteronemotherhood — because we’re laughing, crying, and surviving this together.