Miscarriages and Pregnancy Loss: You Are Not Alone

October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, a time to recognise the thousands of families across Canada whose lives are tragically altered by the loss of a baby through miscarriage, stillbirth, ectopic pregnancy, or infant death. Experiencing a pregnancy loss is a profound and unique grief that touches parents, families, friends, and even healthcare providers. Yet, despite how common it is, miscarriage and pregnancy loss remain subjects that are often silenced, leaving many parents to grieve alone.

Miscarriage, the unexpected end of a pregnancy within the first 20 weeks, is not your fault. You did nothing wrong. Sometimes, a pregnancy simply doesn’t progress as it should, and the body naturally removes it. The reasons are often beyond anyone’s control, and there is no shame or blame to bear.

There will be some TMI within this blog article, but we get real and uncomfortable on this blog, to show that you re not alone and anything can happen during the motherhood journey.

Our Stories

I experienced two miscarriages—one in July 2024 and another in January 2025—both around 7 weeks. The night before each one, my partner and I had vaginal sex, and the next day, I began to bleed. After the second miscarriage, which happened after being intimate in the same position, I couldn’t help but think that we had caused it. Even though doctors reassured me that sex doesn’t cause miscarriages, I still felt responsible. It took time, and therapy, to truly accept that miscarriages just happen and that there was nothing I did wrong.

Both times, the miscarriages began with small amounts of bright red bleeding that quickly became heavier. By the second day, the miscarriage had passed naturally—both times, a small mass, about the size of a chocolate coin. I was fortunate that there were no complications or tissue left behind, but the cramps were worse than any period I had ever had, and the bleeding lasted about four to five days.

The emotional pain was harder than the physical. There would be moments where I felt fine, and others where I would suddenly break down in tears. During my first miscarriage, some of my friends were pregnant too, and I remember feeling like I had dropped out of an invisible race—one that I’d created in my own mind. It wasn’t jealousy, but grief for the life and timing I thought I’d have. I had imagined our babies growing up together, and suddenly that dream was gone. I had to come to terms with my journey being different.

After my first loss, I was advised to wait a few months before trying again, but my body began ovulating again within two months. I started tracking everything obsessively and even had a false positive pregnancy test, followed by a late period. It was a crushing disappointment, and I learned that even seeing that second line can reopen wounds. My first period after miscarriage was almost as emotionally painful as the loss itself.

Through therapy and the support of close friends, I began to heal. I held my son a little tighter on hard days and leaned on my partner so that we could process the grief together. There is no right or wrong way to navigate a miscarriage—it stays with you as long as it needs to. As part of our healing, my partner and I got wing tattoos to represent our two losses. I placed mine close to my heart; he placed his on his arm. It was our way of honouring the babies we never got to meet.

After the second miscarriage, we decided to keep trying. By the end of March, I found out I was pregnant again. At our first ultrasound, we learned it was twins. We were shocked, nervous, and excited all at once. I like to think that the two babies I lost just couldn’t decide who would be part of our family—so both were given to us.

This pregnancy came with fear, especially in the first trimester. I had no interest in sex because the trauma of our losses was still fresh, and we both agreed to wait. We found other ways to stay close and connected. Intimacy after loss isn’t always physical—it’s about communication, compassion, and partnership.

I also learned to stop saying “it’s okay” when someone offered condolences. It wasn’t okay. I found that saying “thank you” or “I appreciate your words” felt more honest, and it allowed me to feel supported without brushing away the reality of my grief.

As you’ll read below, other moms share their stories of loss and healing—each one different, but connected by the same invisible thread of love and resilience. There is no right or wrong way to move through miscarriage. The best support often comes in the simplest forms: asking what someone needs, sitting quietly beside them, or just being there. The following stories are from some of the Moms that you can find on our About page. I refer to each of them as a “Mom villager”, but each paragraph is a different mom sharing her story.

Mom villager shared her experience of three back-to-back miscarriages before welcoming her son, Preston. She described the devastation of each loss—at 9 weeks, 12 weeks, and 15 weeks—and how it brought an entirely new level of depression and self-doubt. For three months, she needed a mental health break to begin to process everything. Questions from others like, “When are you having kids?” became unbearable, and pregnancy after loss was terrifying. The joy she had imagined was replaced by constant worry. She found that connecting with other women who had experienced similar losses was essential; they understood a grief that family and friends simply could not.

Mom villager experienced a twin molar pregnancy and had to make the excruciating decision to terminate for medical reasons. She underwent chemotherapy afterward but soon became pregnant again, requiring close monitoring from her oncologist. Her midwife clinic in BC provided a network of support, offering peer groups for moms who had experienced loss. For her, the comfort of connecting with others who truly understood the depth of the grief made a meaningful difference in her healing process.

Mom villager shared the heartbreak of two miscarriages. The first, after trying for nine months, hit her like a ton of bricks. The second felt different—sad, but not as devastating. In both cases, she found the physical and emotional pain overwhelming, and she was never offered support or resources from healthcare providers. Her story highlights a harsh reality: miscarriage is common, but it remains an experience shrouded in silence, making those who grieve feel isolated.

Mom villager shared, “I’ve had one miscarriage that I am aware of, and I suspect that there were more—they were just very early on. It started at work, and my boss was not the most supportive; she was dismissive when I asked to leave to go to the hospital and in the days that followed. I will never forget the feeling of asking the doctor for good news and hearing, ‘I’m afraid it isn’t.’ It’s this strange sort of grief—mourning a person you’ve never met but have already built a future around—while still having to parent your other children. In my case, I was also hosting my in-laws who were visiting from the East Coast. The biggest support was my own mom. I knew she had faced a few losses herself, so talking with someone who understood—who didn’t judge my reactions or say, ‘At least it happened early’—was fundamental to my healing.”

Supporting Someone Through Loss

Supporting someone through pregnancy loss can feel intimidating, and well-meaning words can unintentionally cause hurt. Phrases like “I’m sorry for your loss” are often used out of habit, but loss is never “okay.” A more supportive response from the person grieving can be:

“Thank you, I appreciate your condolences and support during this time.”

The most important thing you can do is listen and validate, without trying to fix the grief or minimize it. Avoid comments like, “At least it happened early,” “You can try again,” or “It was meant to be.” Presence, compassion, and patience are far more meaningful than words.

Healing and Support

Healing after a miscarriage or pregnancy loss is deeply personal and not linear. Everyone experiences grief differently, and seeking support is essential. Options include:

Talking to your healthcare provider about physical and mental recovery.
Reaching out to Baby’s Breath Canada or local support groups.
Connecting with peers who have experienced similar losses.
Considering grief counselling, spiritual guidance, or therapy.

For those who wish, lighting a candle during the month of October can be a meaningful way to honour a baby or a loved one who has experienced a loss. Even a small act of remembrance can provide comfort and connection.

Quick Tips for Supporting Someone Who Has Experienced Pregnancy Loss

Do say:

“I care about you and I’m here if you want to talk or need support.”
“You did nothing wrong.”
“I’m here to listen whenever you need me.”

Don’t say:

“It was meant to be.”
“At least it happened early.”
“You can try again.”
“It’s okay” (to a parent responding to condolences).

Practical support ideas:

Offer meals, childcare, or errands if you are close to the parent.
Share resources like Baby’s Breath Canada or local support groups.
Let them guide the conversation—sometimes silence and presence are more meaningful than words.

Canadian Support Resources for Pregnancy and Infant Loss

Pregnancy & Infant Loss Support Centre (PILSC) – Calgary, AB

PILSC is a registered charity dedicated to supporting individuals and families affected by pregnancy and infant loss. They offer:

Peer-led support groups for various stages of grief
One-on-one peer support via voice, text, or email
Memorial events and retreats
Coaching and grief rituals

They serve families across Canada and are particularly active in Alberta. You can contact them at 1-825-205-7918 or info@pilsc.org. Pregnancy & Infant Loss Support Centre

Alberta Health Services (AHS) – Pregnancy and Infant Loss Program

AHS provides comprehensive grief support, including:

Individual and couples counseling
Memorial services and remembrance events
Mementos for families experiencing loss

Their services are available at the Ambulatory Care Centre in Calgary. For more information, visit their website. Alberta Health Services

PAIL Network – Ontario

The Pregnancy and Infant Loss (PAIL) Network offers peer-led support groups across Ontario, including:

Online support groups for various stages of grief
In-person support circles
Specialized groups for LGBTQ2S+ families and those experiencing grief after abortion

Their services are available to all families in Ontario. For more details, visit their website. PAIL Network

H.E.A.R.T.S Grief Support – Red Deer, AB

The H.E.A.R.T.S program offers:

One-on-one grief support sessions
A lending library with resources on grief and healing

They are available to support families in the Red Deer area. To learn more, visit their website. reddeerpcn.com

Northern Health – Northern BC

Northern Health provides resources for families experiencing perinatal loss, including:

Information on grief and recovery
Support contacts and community resources

Their services are available to families in Northern British Columbia. For more information, visit their website. Northern Health

211 Alberta

211 Alberta is a free, confidential helpline connecting individuals to community and social services. They can help you find local grief support services and resources. You can reach them by calling 211 or visiting their website. 211 Alberta

Additional Resources

MyHealth Alberta – Grief and Recovery: Offers articles and videos on coping with grief, including personal stories and strategies for healing. MyHealth Alberta
Public Health Ontario – Pregnancy and Infant Loss: Provides information on the emotional and psychological impacts of perinatal loss. Public Health Ontario

CuddleCot Canada: Hosts virtual conferences and provides resources for healthcare professionals and families experiencing pregnancy and baby loss.

Closing Thoughts

More women than we realize have experienced a miscarriage—some without ever knowing it happened. When I first shared my own story, I was astounded by how many women opened up and shared theirs with me. It made me realize just how many of us carry this silent grief. We often hide our pain for many reasons—fear of judgment, discomfort from others, or simply because society has made loss a taboo topic. But silence only deepens the loneliness. By sharing our stories, we hope to remind anyone who has gone through this that you are not alone. There is strength in vulnerability, comfort in connection, and healing in community. No judgment, no drama—just moms supporting moms, one story at a time.